This is not another recap of 2020 post. This is not another uplifting 2021 post. For those of us trapped in America, I wanted to give you a quick reminder to please re-establish your boundaries because of COVID.
We had to get really creative in 2020 when it came to keeping in touch when COVID slammed into us. However, I don’t think any of us prepared to be locked down this long. I think it’s perfectly normal to expect that once something goes on for so long you get a lazy, you get a little complacent.
But you better not be getting complacent about wearing your mask or using your hand sanitizer. I am talking about COVID eroding our boundaries. And because one of my favorite things to do is to lovingly bully you into wellness, here are 5 things to do to re-establish your boundaries.
5 Ways to Re-establish your boundaries:
Guard your Calendar: It’s extremely important that if you haven’t already you start using a Calendar to mark off what you are doing at work and home, even if you are home. Especially if you are home. You’re going to need to put in down time, play time, and most importantly an END time. Look you are home. You have to give yourself a firm quitting time so your brain can look forward to quitting time.
Say No. Seriously, some of you have forgotten to say “no”. I need you to talk to yourself. And open up your mouth to say “no”. Because we are home people are making requests that normally would be unacceptable. And it seems to me too many of you have forgottent that ‘no’ is an option. Exercise your “no”.
Unsubscribe and Block. If you’re like the most of us you’ve increased your internet usage. It’s a global pandemic, I am not judging. But I am certain you’re getting a diluge of emails. Go ahead and spend 30 minutes unsubscribing from everything bogging down your inbox. It’s not enough to just sit and delete emails you don’t intend to engage with every few days. Take the time to just unsubscribe be done with it. And speaking on being done with things, it’s time to Block. Block the page that makes you feel bad. Block the account that raises your blood pressure. Block, block, block. You’re consuming alot of content you need to block to protect your energy and spirit.
Identify the Vampires. No, I am not talking about Blade. Although, if you know Blade please tell him to see about me. But I want you to sit within yourself and list out all the people who drain you. It doesn’t matter if they friends, foe, or family. Anyone who causes you to pause before calling because you know you’re going to expend a significant amount of time, energy, or emotional labor is a Vampire. Now some Vampires are more dangerous than others. Once you’ve identified them I need you to come up with strategy for handling. Let me give you three quick examples:
- Family Vampire #1: they’re pure toxicity and refuse to get a clue or acknowledge any form a boundary. They are blocked in all areas of my life. Knowing their simple self they’re probably yelling into the wind somewhere about me, but I would not know because I have the blocked. Love that for me.
- Friend Vampire #1: I absolutely love this friend, but they require a ton of spiritual labor. I am HAPPY to do this, but I’m human and I have my limits. So I simply checking a few times of week instead of talking every single day, multiple times in the same day.
- Family Vampire #2: one of my closest family connection. I love me some them. But they would happily and easily stay on the phone with me for hours listening to me breathe. So now I have set day of the week that I specifically talk to them.
Invest in yourself. Beloveds, too often when we think about boundaries we think about the external protecting the internal. But are your pouring into your? Are you setting aside time to take care of yourself? Is there a class you always wanted to take? Are you doing your basic hygiene well? I am huge advocate with checking into yourself and aggressively loving yourself. One of the hardest life lessons I had to learn is that no one is going to take care of me like I can. I know what I need so whether that looks like more time in prayer or taking longer baths, please go do that. I’ve made this my last boundary, but it’s the most important one. Once you love yourself, protect yourself, and cherish yourself you’ll be so much better at protect your boundaries.
What tactics do you use to protect your boundaries? How has the pandemic affected your boundaries? Comment below or find me on the twitterverse. Let’s talk!
xoxo -LaBlaq
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